In the Stillness...

The common theme of my life over the past couple weeks has been, "be still and know I am God". As a missionary preparing to move onto the mission field full time I feel overwhelmed most of the time. In two and a half months I will be leaving friends and family to follow the heart of God to the Philippines. I'm abundantly excited, since this has been a dream for the past 14 years.  In addition to the excitement and determination to follow God's call, I realize the sacrifice of it all and that brings daily challenges. I am reminded that the joys and conveniences of daily life will look very different. I will no longer be able to instantly call upon my best friend, mentors, or support system for comfort and wisdom, even though the Internet can help some. On Top of all of this I will be in a place of leadership where others will be looking to me to provide wise counsel and direction. I don't know about you, but leadership hasn't always come easy to me, even though God has gifted me with the ability. And if all of those thoughts and anticipations weren't challenging enough, I miss my mom, my sympathizer and biggest supporter. All of these challenging thoughts, plus the daily occurrences of life, have left my mind in a whirlwind of emotions and conflict. This past week I've been left on the reliance of God, more than usual, simply because I could not stand to deal with these thoughts and feelings alone. In His company I've been drawn to the conclusion that I cannot in my efforts but I will in His. He has taught me that in my strength I will only go so far and constantly be in need. If I learn to rest and be in Him, however, I will never lack and will be able to do beyond my own strength or understanding. So even though there are tremendous challenges in my life right now I choose to be still and rest in Him.